Miss Independent

9:47PM

I'm moving to VA Beach soon! I can't wait to start the next chapter in my life. I'm so sick of Fitchburg Ma and all the drama that comes with it. Plus the jobs are obsolete here, or on hiring freeze and MA is running out of money. VA has a lot of job opportunities. I feel that I wud be better off there. I'll be living with my mother, sister and 2 neices for the time being until I find my own place. I'm on the waiting lease for an apartment.

5:24PM - too depressed

I had my dr's appt today and I was pregnant. I already knew for about a month and a half. But when I went to my dr's appt. My dr tld me that I lost the baby a month ago! I'm just hysterical! This pregnancy was a blessing and a surprise. And now it has been taken away from me.

So now I have to deal with my body letting nature take its course which is to let it miscarry and let it bleed. So I'm in bed crying and just waiting in pain with cramps.

9:48PM - warning: angry rant with cussing

Hello peeps, I'm back.
U know what? I hate drama in this fuckin town! I'm sick of this person and all her bullshits.

I haven't seen her since February 2009 when my sister was in town and then before that it was last year March 2008 @ the college's spring festival.

I found out she's been spreading rumors about me after all I've done for her! I gave her rides wherever she needed to go, took her to interviews, jobs, appointments, court for her custody battle, let her stay over my place when she was drunk off her ass, kept her company, picked up her daughter from school when she couldn't make it.

I was her fuckin support system and now, tonite I find out she's been saying shit about me. She needs to keep my name out of her fat ass slutty whorish mouth.

I just can't believe it. She just had to lie her way around ppl for attention and now she wants to fight me?! I didn't do shit to her but help her ass! I'm just thankful that person who told me this knows that all that stuff she said is a LIE and that bitch is jealous cuz I'm doin good, I graduated college and I'm doin the right thing and about to be starting a new life. Karma is a bitch. The Lord above knows me and knows that girl is a pathological liar. She lies about everything! I mean EVERYTHING! Wants attention and shit. I wish she had LJ and she could read and grow the fuck up. She's 36 yrs old and got fuckin problems!

Ok now I feel better. Lord knows that I'm ok and I'm better than her. She's like a piece of nothing. Dust the dirt off my shoulders.

6:52PM - sad

I cant believe terry mackin passed away! Im so sad and shocked. Say what up to Mellie, kevin even tho i dont know him, cassie and others for me. Rest in Peach terry! Im happy to have had the opportunity to get to know you.

12:38PM - long time no see :)

Today I'm on the train to boston. I feel woozy cuz I drank too much coffee. I'm meeting dan's parents. They are taking us out to eat. I wonder where and hope the day goes well today :)

I can't wait to go to VA on August 5th. This summer so far has been boring and lacks excitement. Well next week "excitement starts" bec my friend's 2 kid's bday on the 26th then 6 flags or water country on the 27th. Then chill for few days and embark on Dan and I's first vacation together to VA Beach.

1:03PM

hello ppl....the federal work study program is running out of money. So next week is the last week of work...(sob sob) so now i gotta find another job! The deaf program does volunteers but the thing is..I NEED MONEY!!! I've saved alot of $$ for my summer vacation to VA in August with my man. But I still need extra money to survive on in the summer! So once again, it's back to job search! Im almost done with school. Got 2 finals coming up next week and 4 papers to do eeek!!! I was gonna take a summer course but i found out from my financial aid advisor that I have to pay out of my pocket! 500 dollars! So he said if I wanted to use the loans I would have to take 2 courses. Or more than 6 credits. And if I do that, then I cant work! So I've decided to drop my summer class and work all thru summer once I find a job.


I'll be taking 2 courses fall and 2 courses spring then I'll officially become a licensed paralegal! YAY GO ME!!! I just have to get through the year! Im gonna visit VA with my man. I promised him that I would take him one day. ANd this time it's official...sometime in August!! He's gonna love it! I love Virginia Beach! It's the best!!! BESTOLAAAAA!!!!

Then after that, start working in the real world. Life sure is hard! Dang...I've been through alot and I'm still fighting hard and doing good in school. Hope everyone else is doing good!!!  ITS A BEAUTIFUL DAY!!! IT KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER!!! LUV YA LOTS!!!

2:00PM

hurry up summer! come nowww....I have so many plans with my man besides taking 1 summer school and working @ Caps for a 5 week summer program and going to VA Beach!!!

I love mi novio so much! Im so happy that I have someone I can spend the rest of my life with. Im so lucky to be back with my 1st boyfriend from hs and we are gonna be together for good. Such a sweet, kind and protective man. I love snuggling with him and sneaking kisses from him and making him laugh. Just wanna say I feel soooo loved!!! I've never felt like this before and he IS truly the one for me!!!

1:59PM

wheeeee!  I got 3 courses left to graduate! So I will officially be a licensed paralegal!!! YAYNESS!!!! will graduate winter...yahooo then finally I can fuckin find a real job!

1:07PM

Im so excited... my friend carolyn will be coming to visit me in 2 days! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

6:58PM

 I love this song by J. Holiday...he's HOT! And this is how my man feels for me  ""SUFFOCATE"
Now even though i try to play it off.
Im thinking bout you all day long and
I cant wait for shorty to come through
From your lips and neck
To your eyes, my hands on your hips homie grind im fantazing
Bout what im gon do to you.
You got me fiending for her love (can't lie)
Man you should see how she got me
Spending all this time with her (with her)
I couldnt leave her if i wanted to her love turns men into fool
Tell me what a man is to do.

Chorus
Cause i cant breathe when you talk to me,
cant breathe when your touching me
Suffocate when your away from me
so much love you take from me
im going out of my mind

I Cant Breathe When your touching me
I suffocate when your away from me
So much love you take from me
im going out of my mind.Whenever we up in this bed and my finger fall in your hair,
I Wonder if you feel me watching you
Cause i can't go a night without your lovin
Got me lookin at this phone

Everytime it rings i hope its you (girl)
Got me bracin through your love (and i) i've fallen for u
I (cant lie) i just wanna be with u
And yes she got me there i said it
Somebody call the paramedics tell them to hurry up and come through.

Chorus(x2)
Cause i cant breathe (cant breathe) when u touching me
And i cant breathe when you're touching me (when your touching me)
I can't breathe when you talk to me
I suffocate when you're away from me
So much love you take from me
I'm going out of my mind

I can't breathe when you talk to me
I can't breathe when you're touching me
I Suffocate when your away from me
So much love you take from me
Im going out of my mind
dont never leave me girl i need you inside my world i cant go a day without you and see nobody else would love but u i would never feel like i feel with you cause i

(chorus)
I can't breathe when you talk to me
I can't breathe when you're touching me
I Suffocate when you're away from me
So much love you take from me
Im going out of my mind ( im going out of my mind)
I cant breathe when you're touching me ( i cant breathe)
Suffocate when you're away from me so much love you take from me.
Im going out of my mind (im going out of my mind).Ouhh no no .. i cant breathe . ouhh no no i cant breathe ouhh no no i cant breathe .ouuhhhhhh woo ouhh

Ouhh no no i cant breathe Ouhh no no i cant breathe (I cant breathe).

I  AM DONEEEEEE!!!!!! I GOT AN A- IN COMPUTER TECHNOLOGIES!!! WAITING TO FIND OUT WHAT I GOT IN THE Mass N federal system class. that class is tough!!! My 1st test was B-, 2nd was C-....final exam???????????? ( i did an all nighter doing mah papers n studyin) papers...all B's. As of now...I only had 4 hrs of sleep.


Now Im on vacay for 1 month!!! Im leaving to Virginia beach, Va in

2 days!!

9:04PM

1 final project down, 1 to go! Computer Technologies final exam is open book! YAYYYYY! That makes it easier...just gotta read chapter 8 to make sure I know where to find it and during the test I can just look in the index for the answer/page number. Also, gotta practice on excel eeek!

Massachusetts and the Federal system paper, not yet started...will do tmr after I meet  my best friend Milly in Boston to do gift exchange then it's back to Fitchburg to do my final project and study (no open book :( ) but the good thing it's NOT cumulative whew!

Happy Holidays everyone... Im not sure if Im gonna come back to Mass for NYE...Milly was telling me about NYE party at her friend's house...

Stacey is hosting NYE party (Mardi Gras) in RI which will be taken on Dec 31st. There will have food, desserts, drinks and (BYOB)), games and etc. Deadline will be on Dec 15th by send a check. But can pay admission at door $25 or $30 when arrive there in RI. Compare to Boston of bars are way expensive prices like $50 to up.
I dont think Im gonna drive to RI if I wanted to drink ya know? It's a long drive soo...which means I'd have to be the only person sober @ the party...I THINK NOT!
So, it'll be too late for me to pay by Dec 15th cuz I got to pay fuckin ticket for parking and it's $25.00! Grrr. Ill celebrate NYE in VA! 

7:23PM

 1 more week of school, class on a friday on my birthday!!! grrrr! It's bec of snow day we had on dec, 5th soo we have class on friday fooka fooka! so my bday plans are on thursday...sucks going to class on my day off. I only have classes on mondays n weds then 2 finals on the same fuckin day (dec. 17)!!! Oh lordy lordy!!! and I get to keep the usb flash drive! YAYYYYYY!!!!


then on dec 19th....boarding the train to Virginia Beach!!! warmth!! ahhh...yesterday it was 75 fuckin degrees!!

1:31PM

 

My GAWD!! Im having a bad day...first i lock my keys in the car, then i find out i cant use the rest of my financial aid. the school didnt tell me that nov 2nd was the last day!!! I went to book store today to purchase a flash drive which is required for class and umm....i cant fucking buy it. I wont get the refunds til December 17th which is the last day of school!!!


what am I supposed to do?!?!?!?! Flash drive is required for my computer technologies course!!!

11:24AM

 YES!!! I LOVE MY MOMMY!!!!! SHE SOMEHOW CONVINCED THE LANDLORD TO NOT PUT ME OUT! YESS YESS YESS! THANK YOU GOD! I PRAYED LIKE CRAZY!! THANK U MA AND OUR LORD SAVIOR!!! She's gonna help me pay for October's rent. Whew! It was a hard tough month for me! I'll make sure this shit doesnt happen again. I lost respect for my father. Im his 1st born and umm... does me dirty n grimey. That's fucked up, feel me???

I agree with my Uncle Nate who said that our family can be our enemy. Cuz u don't know if they'll turn u out or really help u.  This time... not no more. The only person I can trust is my mother, my man and few of my close friends. U know who u are!

Happy Halloween!!! Have a spooktacular day!!!

10:41AM

I kicked my dad and his 2nd family out. He only gave me 60 bucks and had the nerve to say " dont spend it all" wtf?! U say u was gonna help me and 60 bucks aint cutting it. So, I kicked they asses out for doin me dirty! They are grimey! Too bad, go find your own place! They were living with me for 3 months and disrespected my apartment. They had the fucking nerve to dump cat litter in my bathtub! Let dirty shit everywhere and all that. So I have to clean up my place and buy new potholders and stuff. Nasty ass people!!

1:38PM

why is there people who like to take advantage of me?!?!? Im sick of being nice and getting walked over!!! My own father owes me money, he and his family ran up my electricity bill and never paid me half of his rent. I've no choice but to kick their asses out!!! I pray to God that he finds a way for me to get this money to pay my rent so I can live there. Please Lord, my savior, help me find a way to pay the October's rent. I just started babysitting and im willing to pay everyweek towards October's rent. I get paid on every friday.

I have ssi so I can pay the rent on the 1st. just that this month was a tough month for me. mannn why do i have a big heart and empathetic to helping people?!?!?!?!?!?


fucking moochers...my OWN blood related father and his stupid 2nd family with new wife ! PTFFFFFF!!!!

11:25AM

sidekick 2 broke....fucker!! I had a dumb blonde moment 2 days ago. I thought i put my sk2 on the table (i wasnt looking when i was talkin to my soon to be 4 yr old neice) and as i was putting it down on the table...I guess it was on the edge and it slipped and fell on to the floor. Fucker!! The screen blew up and now it obtains a black spot on it. Now I've no choice but to get the sidekick ID... i want with camera in it but its no longer in production unless I have the means to shell out$300 bucks for sidekick LX which wont be available until later, mann! So liek I said... no choice but to get SK ID.

My car will be happy to see her mommie. My suspension is officially over as of Oct 8th and I now can drive my car again. I learned my lesson big ass time. I cud have gotten a  3 month or a 1 yr suspension...man Im glad the moderator at the hearing was sympathetic enuf to give me 30 days.

I hope to be better by tomorrow so I can go to a party in Boston... hawaiian theme party. My friend is leaving to hawaii for 2 weeks...lucky bitch!!!

11:58PM

 wait to go to Virginia Beach!!! Im leaving Aug 31st  to Sept.7th for labor day weekend and staying for 1 week @ my cousin's place!! Ill be sure to post pictures!!!

it's been 3 years since I last went and it was only 2 days. This time a fulll week of sun,beach,fishing,crabbing and clubbin!!!!

Holla!!!!!

2:44AM

Im getting stronger every day. taking it 1 day at a time. slowing back to myself but still questioning life.

6:31AM

Life sucks!!

having an hard time dealing with the situation.